a cordial facade we stroll…

I am running out of excuses on why I’m not blogging. Yeah, really- this is raw. I’m going to lay it all out on the table and just say this: I’m just busy. Yes, I’m busy. But when you say “I’m busy” to someone- you don’t realize you either: scare them away or cut down the friendly tone in the conversation you’re having with the person. So I typically try to avoid the B word whenever I’m clacking my heels around the campus (usually with flats packed inside my bags because I start limping approximately three hours after the use.) Until tonight, I realized that this is a blog. I’m blogging about my life and it is BUSY. There! Using the B word has never been so liberating as tonight feels. Now what I am about to tell you is considered as a good excuse, probably the best you’ll ever hear.

Lately ever since I left off after my last entry (around Thanksgiving) I’ve been discovering more about my GNU Baby (for those who don’t know, it is a snowboard) and I love it until I injured my tailbone. I am now living with a coccyx injury. I have to stay away from Lomo the long board for a range of 6 months to a year and yes that includes my GNU Baby. I have read so much more books and yes it includes King’s books *ALWAYS! I’ve written a 45 page long story about a LSD trip and the catch is that I have never tried LSD. I became the Anagrapha Grammareus for my sorority in the spring semester. I coordinated Colorfest 2011 Workshops. Arranged several events on behalf of Student Body Government as their Director of Community Relations. I got an internship gig at National Council of Disability. And yes! I got tattooed (much more to come!) I discovered great bands like Arcade Fire, Mumford & Sons, Doctor Squid, and more. I went to Alaska in the summer then made an impulsive decision to stay there for two months. Where I enjoyed a lot of Kaladi Brother Coffee, honey-cinnamon-nutmeg-lavendar infused beer, and good local indie music (talking about the hoons: http://www.facebook.com/Thehoons). And here I am. So, I think this considers a good pass for slacking on this blog lately.

Anyways, one of my objectives for my last year is to blog as frequently as I can. This is because I want to have my own blogging site someday and this is a good start for me. I’ve been browsing around other wonderful sites (for ladies or anyone with kitschy art interests, and yes vintage fashion with a little bit of tattooing culture nicely interwoven into the mix) I fell in love and felt suddenly inspired! Their url(s) are:

http://www.delightfully-tacky.com/

http://entroende.wordpress.com/ (a dear friend of mine!)

http://skunkboycreatures.blogspot.com/

http://thevelvetbird.blogspot.com/

Something to keep you all occupied before your preseason training begins, or any other training that heavily involves workshops (the usual at Gallaudet for Resident Assistants, Campus Activities Workers, Student Body Government *me* officers, Greek Officers *me again*, and more.)

The upcoming academic year of 2011-12 will have to begin and end with a bang for me. It will be my very last year at Gallaudet University before I go off to explore the perks of life out there. Before I can do that- I’ll lead my sorority (I’m the Proedros- check our site out: http://www.phikappazeta.org/) and I’ll be the Chief of Staff for the Hinks and Behm Administration- it will be a great year for Student Body Government. I’m very animated about how I will lead my cabinets, we have a very diverse and wonderful team this year.

I can’t write about the year any further because it is yet to come! If you’re a existing student, a new student, a transfer student, a stalker, or a someone who wishes to give me an insult…rant…death threats.. I welcome them. contact me at my school email address: clara.baldwin@gallaudet.edu

ask me anything, I’m an open book!

p.s. the subject “a cordial facade we stroll” is a portion of lyrics stolen from one of the hoons’ song “a new credo” (a pretty rad tune to listen to) had to credit to them. just felt very fitting.

Now Is Not the Time

To all of you who may have broken hearts and feel like you are all alone or can’t get through something you are struggling with, please remember that you are not alone and no matter how awful things may have been or still are for you, God is still good. God is good–ALL the time. And, ALL the time–God is good. God is allowing you to go through this to MAKE you, not break you and disfigure you. He doesn’t want to see if you will fail, but that you will pass with flying colors.

-Paraphrased from Kay Arthur with a few comments from me 🙂

I just thought that I would try to give you an encouraging word today. I know that we live in a hurting world full of pain and rejection, hurt and sadness, grief and dispair. But I want you to know that there is hope. Even when it seems that God is nowhere nearby, He is there, right beside you. He cares about every detail of your life. There is nothing too small or too big for God to care about in your life.

Bad things happen every day. Many of you may know that a Gallaudet student and friend, Lisa McLean, died in a terrible fire in her apartment last Sunday. My friend’s mom just had a miscarriage. My sister’s friend’s parents are getting a divorce. I have a friend who has Cystic Fibrosis and may not live more than ten to fifteen more years. My grandmother died. My brother ran away from home. My friend’s grandfather passed away recently. Awful things happen in our lives. I know all of these people (family, friends, aquaintances, strangers, myself) and every other person on this earth for that matter is hurting from something. We want to give in to depression, defeat, and dispair. That’s normal.

Don’t give up though. Don’t throw in the towel. Now is not the time. People are depending on you. God has faith in you. He believes that you WILL PASS with flying colors. There is hope, and God will see you through this time of pain in your life. It will not be easy. My goodness, trusting God is not easy, and He is always faithful and always there. He will never leave us or forsake us, and yet, it is STILL hard to trust Him with our cares. Why? I do not know. All I know is that it is imperative that we keep on keeping on. Now is not the time to give up.

I want to leave you with some lyrics to a song that I found most comforting in one of the worst times of my life. When my brother ran away and other things started coming undone and my life seemed as though it was falling apart, I heard this song on the radio. Ironic, when the song began to play, I felt like God wanted me to sing this song to Him. Two things–one: I was crying too hard to sing in the first place, and two: I did not feel much like praising God for being so good to me when He had just allowed me to lose my brother, grandfather, aunt, and several friends all within one week. But you know what I realized when I started choking out the words to this song between my sobs and in their off-beat and off-key manner? I realized that God was in control, God knew everything that was going on in my life, God cared about my pain, and God was and is still good despite all the bad that had happened.

So, here it is “Praise You in This Storm” by Casting Crowns:

Verse 1: I was sure by now, that You would have reached down, and wiped our tears away–stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say amen, and it’s still raining. As the thunder rolls, I barely hear You whisper through the rain, “I’m with you.” And as Your mercy falls, I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus: I’ll praise You in this storm. And I will lift my hands, for You are who You are, no matter where I am. Every tear I’ve cried, You hold in Your hand. You never left my side and though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm.

Verse 2: I remember when, I stumbled in the wind. You heard my cry and You raised me up again. My strength is almost gone. How can I carry on if I can’t find You?

Chorus: I’ll praise You in this storm. And I will lift my hands, for You are who You are, no matter where I am. Every tear I’ve cried, You hold in Your hand. You never left my side and though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm.

Bridge: I lift my eyes unto the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord. The Maker of heaven and earth.

The “Hearing Experience,” Part II

I have been thinking some more about my “Hearing Experience” at Gallaudet, and I thought I would share another story with you.  We have a small movie theater in the SAC (Student Academic Center), and every Friday and Saturday night, the Student Body Government provides a movie to watch.  I remember that it used to feel strange, watching every movie with closed captions, but not any more. Actually, I prefer to have them on since I seem to miss so much that is said without them.  At any rate, I loved going to the weekly movies (if they were showing a good one anyway) and invited a hearing friend to watch movies with me occasionally. 

 

The first time my friend and I went, everything went fine.  We saw “Freedom Writers” and, even though we were both unused to closed captions at the time, we still greatly enjoyed the movie.  The second time that my friend agreed to watch a movie with me (it was “Enchanted”), the speakers did not work at all.  The movie could play along with its closed captions, but there was absolutely no sound.  After trying to fix it for 45 minutes or so, the students gave up and we sat for a few minutes watching the musical without music.  My friend looked uncomfortable, and I asked him if he wanted to watch the “silent movie” or do something else, and he said he was fine watching the movie.  A few minutes later though, he finally gave in and said that he could not focus on the movie and read the captions at the same time, and it was driving him crazy. 

 

I understood since I had once felt the same way, and we left and watched “The Office” re-runs instead.  Funny, the next weekend I went to watch “Enchanted” with another friend and the theater still had no sound.  Every time a song played, I either tried to remember how the tune went (I had seen the movie in theaters a few months beforehand) or made up my own tune for the lyrics.  Thankfully, there was sound for “August Rush” though.  I cannot imagine watching it without hearing the orchestra music.  However, of course, my Deaf friend who went with me could not hear the music although she could feel it. 

 

 

It is a strange sensation trying to put myself in her shoes and see what she and the other Deaf people were getting from the movie simply by watching the closed captions, feeling the vibrations, and watching the scenes.  Because of this, I catch myself evaluating the quality of closed captions in movies.  Did they include the background noise?  Did they say what song was playing and show the lyrics to the song while it played?  Did they include every spoken word or were some things left out?  I am surprised that so many closed-captioned movies leave some things out that hearing people take for granted but that are so important to the movie.  You know what?  It makes me want to become an advocate for closed captioning.  Who knows?  Maybe one day I will.