Now, “change,” though a popular buzz word now, is not a word I am fond of on many levels.  The idea of change does not bode with me.  I resist change.  Being an Independent, the kind of “change” Obama wants to bring about is not the kind I would like to see in our Nation.  Being the daughter of a mortgage broker and real estate agent, I am not looking forward to the “change”  in the housing market that is going to come with this new stimulus (spending) package.  “Change” can also mean those heavy coins that weigh down your wallet and that cause people to look at you like a complete idiot when that is all you have to pay for a value meal at your favorite fast food joint. 

There is, of course, good change as well.  Moving back to Texas 8 years ago changed me from being a shy, quiet girl into a young woman who is unafraid to meet new people and loves to visit with new and old friends alike.  Changing schools, transferring from my alma matter junior college to Gallaudet, brought about awesome opportunities for me in school, politics, sightseeing, friendships, and in many other areas of my life.  My change in major resulted in a new-found realization for me–while I love language, what I love most about it is the linguistics of language.  Change can be a lot of things both good and bad.

This is a semester that reflects that truth.  Many changes took place this semester that had me excited: I was taking new classes in a field I had never studied previously, I was taking my first-ever consortium classes through Georgetown University, I am only two semesters away from graduating with my BA degree, and I got some neat opportunities to work in the White House during President Bush’s last days in office, see the Oval one last time, and see the We Are One Concert before Inauguration.  There were also some other changes that had me not quite so excited.  I was sick–the whole semester.  You must understand something.  I NEVER get sick.  Well, “never” meaning a once-a-year cold that lasts a week.

It was not a never-ending cold.  It seemed as though, from my symptoms, that I just got one illness after another.  I would start getting over a “cold” and then get a “sinus infection” and then get the “flu” after that.  It has been the most bizarre illness I have ever had.  At any rate, it kept me from going to class.  I missed so much school in fact that I could not catch up.  I prayed about it and my family prayed about it for weeks, and finally, I decided that it was time to come home.  Now, I was not throwing in the towel and saying that I was never coming back.  I was simply agreeing with what my body was trying to tell me: that I needed rest.

Within a week, I wrapped up my life at Gallaudet and flew home last Saturday.  It was not easy leaving behind my dear friends at Gally or withdrawing from some of the most incredible classes I had ever taken in my college career.  It was easy, however, to leave Gally’s cafeteria food and dilapidated dorms. 🙂

It was not an easy decision to leave school.  I have never taken a LOA.  But it was time.  God has been teaching me several things through all of these changes in my life.  For one, He is in control and He is sovereign; He allowed me to get sick for some reason maybe just so that I would slow down and look to Him for the answers and not to my own self.  Second, He has been showing me that I need to refocus–re-discover my purpose in life.  I have had several friends bring things to my attention that made me stop and think about why I am doing what I am doing.  The primary reasons I came to Gallaudet are no longer the purpose behind why I go to Gallaudet.  Is that a good change?  Is that a change that God wants me to be making?  That is what I need to consider.

I think this break, this LOA, will give me an opportunity to rest and get well and figure out what God’s purpose is for me.  I may not find the answers, but I want to be confident that I am under God’s hand of protection, that I am where He wants me to be, that I am doing what I am doing to serve Him and further His kingdom–not my own.

So, here I am, left with these “changes.”  I am just thankful that God does not let one of these happen without His consent and that He is in control of every one of them.


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2 Responses to “Change”

  1. Colleen Says:

    Wow, I was just catching up on the blog posts and saw that you’re no longer with us. You will be missed! I hope that you recover from illnesses and gain whatever insight you are meant to. Maybe our paths will cross again one day 🙂 Much love girl!

  2. Casey Says:

    Thanks, Colleen 🙂 Hopefully, I will be back at Gally next semester, but we’ll see what happens… Take care and blessings!

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