home sweet home?

by

So, they say you can never go home, which I thought was a load of crap until my recent visit back to Texas this past weekend. I am from Houston, and have lived there my whole life. I love it. It’s a great town, humid as all get out, but a good town. So, I was excited to go home this weekend for two of my friends birthday parties.

I got in town late Thursday night, and was greeted by my very sweet boyfriend with flowers, and my favorite snack, peanut butter m&m’s. The visit was off to a great start. Not to mention, it was like 75 degrees at home, whereas when I left DC it was somewhere around 30 degrees.

For the first b-day party, which was Friday night, I was super excited to see all my friends in one place at one time. Going home is always kind of a drag cause you have to squeeze in visits to everyone or someone will inevitably get their feelings hurt, but parties make it much simpler. Anyhow, we all ate dinner and went back to her place for a typical evening of board games; yes, we are dorks.

But, unlike how I usually have a blast, I just felt blah. I really thought people were making stupid jokes, and just kind of being dumb in general. It was weird. I mean, these are my friends right? I’ve been kind of feeling this growing separation between my old life at home and my new life here in DC. Being there this weekend, it all came crashing down on me at once. I had the startling realization that if I met this group of people today, I don’t think we’d be as close as we once were. Don’t get me wrong, I love these guys, but I just know that things are different now.

I’ve changed. They’ve changed. Life has just changed. I mean, of course things change. I can’t rightly expect to pack up my life, move across the country and have everything be the same. It’s just odd.

Last semester, I was fortunate to be able to go home quite a bit. I felt really in touch with all of my friends at home, and although I wasn’t living there anymore, I still felt connected to them. But, as my life is progressing and getting off the ground here in DC, it’s harder and harder to keep both worlds running simultaneously.

I think I’m okay with this. Last semester I would’ve freaked not to have some resemblance of my former self. But, I am really loving my life up here this semester. I’m making tons of friends, doing all kinds of cool new things. I’m about to start working, and I really feel at home here. So maybe its okay to start releasing the death grip I was holding on to my former life with. I guess I can’t have everything, but today I truly love what I have.

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